The surprising role of selfishness in leadership

What role does selfishness play in leadership? Your first instinct may be that selfish leadership can only be a bad thing and, until recently, I might have been inclined to agree with you. As I observed in a blog last month on servant leadership, the servant leader “puts the needs of others first”. I went on to write, “not only do we live and breathe the values of servant leadership, everything we do is aimed at helping our clients to do the same.”

On this basis, it seems that servant leadership is the very opposite of selfishness.

Or is it?

Three types of selfishness

I’m reading a fascinating book at the moment, called Awareness by the Jesuit priest and renowned psychotherapist and spiritualist, Anthony de Mello. Actually, I’m re-reading it; it was so good the first time around that, as soon as I’d finished it, I immediately went back to the beginning.

One of the ideas he explores is his belief that we are all innately selfish, and everything we do comes from a place of selfishness. He suggests there are three types of selfishness:

“The first type is where I give myself the pleasure of pleasing myself. The second one is where I give myself the pleasure of pleasing others. The third one is where I do something to not get a bad feeling.”

If asked to define selfishness, most of us would focus on the first type he describes: the simple act of self-indulgence that we can all succumb to at times. The second type exemplifies the theory that there is no such thing as a purely altruistic act, that even when we are doing something for another person, we derive some degree of self-satisfaction. De Mello acknowledges that the third type of selfishness is the most complex, where we do something under duress in an attempt to reduce the pain (e.g. guilt, resentment) we know we’re going to feel.

So, according to de Mello’s thinking, servant leaders – by putting others’ needs first – aren’t performing an entirely selfless act. They are actually getting selfish gratification by doing so. And he’s right. Our essence as a business (and for me personally) is to inspire others to greatness, which is not simply altruistic because we also get a huge kick out of doing this. Unlocking the leadership potential in our clients doesn’t just benefit them, it also directly benefits us, emotionally and – to be blunt about it – financially, as that’s what they’re paying us for!

The benefits of selfish leadership

I love the nuance that de Mello is exploring here and have been mulling over the concept of the three types of selfishness and what useful role it could play in leadership.

Most obviously, when we acknowledge the complexity of selfishness and how it impacts our thinking and behaviour, we gain important self-awareness. When we understand ourselves more clearly it makes us a better leader, because without self-leadership and self-responsibility it’s impossible to be a good leader of others.

Similarly, when we recognise how selfishness influences other people’s motivations, we gain important insight into how we can lead them more effectively. By identifying which of the three types of selfishness might be in play, we can see the picture more clearly and find more workable solutions. Without doubt, we’re able to build closer connections with others when we understand their motivations.

An inclination to selfishness also has a bearing on employee engagement. When we factor in the role of others’ self-interest, our efforts to engage them will be more effective, which in turn drives productivity. When our team know they will be rewarded and recognised for their efforts, they will strive to achieve even greater results.

The awareness dividend

It seems to me that the key benefit of understanding selfishness in this much more three-dimensional way is the awareness boost it provides to leaders. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Awareness is the greatest agent for change”, and change is at the core of leadership effectiveness. The fundamental point of leadership is to bring about change.

There is another awareness dividend too that I receive when I take the time to think more deeply about established thinking and question my own preconceptions. By challenging myself constantly and being open to new learning, I get so much personal satisfaction (my innate selfishness!) while also knowing that it makes me a better leader.